"Pls No Pain..."

So after a week long trying to convince my MOM to get a CITI Scan - just so we can see exactly how far along or how far the CANCER has spread... as, at this point, there is no mistaking it is BREAST CANCER.... she has AGREED to get the SCAN... the deal is that we will get it checked and find out the STATs - then she can DECIDE , given the options, what to do next... and that her decision will be RESPECTED and FOLLOWED....

BACKTRACK: My MOM, though she has felt this LUMP on her breast for years first hide it from me... then later on when it was too noticeable to HIDE, Refused to have it looked at, for fears of the worse case scenario... as well as her, fears of hospitals.... so the past years, though she has been in and out of the hospitals, she never got it looked at and always opt to just get PAIN RELIEVER medicines and medicines for her HIGH BLOOD condition..... needless to say, the CANCER has progressed over the years - and is now, even without the BIOPSY, being declared as "TERMINAL" and "LAST STAGE CANCER"....

FORWARD TO YESTERDAY (April 14th): It was not GOOD at all... first of all, my MOM has a hard time with the long drive, so we were referred to a nearby Hospital.... of course, they could not do the CT SCAN - as their machine is not capable of what was needed... so we were sent to hospitals, after hospitals.... till we just decided to get to one of the biggest one in the city.... of course, this travel alone already took it's toll on my MOM..... and when we finally got to MEDICAL CITY, we find out that she could not just get a CT SCAN, per se.... she needed so many other LAB TESTS before she could do this... to see if she is even fit enough to stand the CT Scan.... We basically had to start from the beginning: consulted with Breast Cancer Specialist.... who gave us a long lists of laboratory tests needed before the CT SCAN.... it was already 8:30PM before we finished what can be done for the day - it was many hours and many tests means she - which I could tell, was putting my MOM in so much pain.... it did not help that she was not allowed to eat till after all these tests.... which meant she also could not take her pain medicine....

Now all that is done... and today (APRIL 15th) we go back for a NOON time appointment to get a BONE SCAN.... then next MONDAY, the actual CT SCAN - providing all is clear from the tests taken yesterday and today....

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Seeing all these, and actually seeing my MOM gets weary and tired from all of these tests - makes me feel so HOPELESS and HELPLESS.... as if whenever she looks at me, all I can see in her eyes, is: "No Pain Please..." At this point, am not even LOOKING for any MIRACLES.... am just HOPING that she really will not have to go through too much pain... no more than she already is suffering from....