Natalie for DIOR

...and speaking of Natalie Portman - passing through the Department Stores on my way to see THOR this afternoon, I noticed her beautiful face, luminously endorsing, Miss Dior Cherie Perfume...
Here's the SEXY Advert...

THOR in 4D!!!!

LOL.... I already cannot stand 3D versions of movies - somehow they give me a headache... but 4D!!! Okay, okay a little exxageration on my part.... actually went to see the regular version of the movie @ the Warner Viewshow movie house - almost halfway into it, the movie theatre started shaking - for almost a minute.... and it happened during the part where the EVIL BROTHER was picking this box that caused a lightning tremors in the film... so we were all a bit confused for a sec - till we realized it was a real Earthquake, and at that point many of us got up and some were too shocked/scared to react.... but it was not that bad and there were no aftershocks so it was on with the entertainment.... The Movie house went all out and even had a THOR greeting movie goers on this, premiere weekend - albeit in a cheesier costume... hahahahahaha...

I LOVED THE FILM!!! It was fun, entertaining and a feast visually... the CGI Graphics were phenomenal... so it was almost SAD that the entire movie was not filmed in Thor's realm... Thank God, the present day storyline has Natalie Portman -she was/is always a feast for the eyes.... and no matter how cheesy her lines were at times - she delivers.... a TRUE ACADEMY AWARD WINNING ACTRESS! Do not really know much about Chris Hemsworth, who plays the God of Thunder - but he is pleasing to the eyes... and he embodies Thor, rather nicely.... just do not care much for how he delivers his lines.... One of those, Beautiful Hunk but please do not speak.... LOL! And the supporting cast were pretty strong, as well... in Thor's realm, as well as, modern Earth....The storyline is pretty good... am not familiar with his origins too much but if this is MARVEL produced then it should be pretty close to it... satisfying both in story telling as well as graphic detailings... it had some snappy lines - especially those given to Kat Dennings, who plays Natalie Portman's assistant... action scenes are GREAT - never enough when builing character backgrounds.... so we can only HOPE for a SEQUEL - for bigger fight scenes....

THOR: Official Movie Site & Trailer:
http://thor.marvel.com/

be@rbrick X jimmy liao X 9

By Popular Demand, (am sure not just by me - LOL!) Hi*Life once again has teamed up with Jimmy Liao for it's newest Premium Toy offerings.... The success and popularity of last year's First 6 Offerings, made way for this year's 2nd wave... and this time around there are, not just 6, but 9 CUTEST bearbricks representing various characters from Jimmy Liao's famous books/illustrations...

This year, the changes in the program will prove to make it a bit tougher to collect them... unless you go by the AUCTION WAY (take note SUE! hehehehehehehehe)....
-FIRST: one needs to spend NT$60 now to get a Sticker, last year was just NT$49 for each sticker.... one needs a total of 25 stickers to get one Premium Toy or the option of 10 stickers and an additional NT$49 for one...
-SECOND: 2 1/2 weeks 3 of the 9 designs will be offered... so if you MISS OUT your chances on the each time period - you are OUT OF LUCK....
-THIRD: and the TOUGHEST CHANGE of all... these time around, the bearbricks are packaged in BLIND BOXES - so not a chance in choosing each one.... you really need to take your chances.... WAAAAAH!!!!

This Period's First Three Offerings - From April 20th thru May 10th:

Overlooking Things... and People, too.....

"The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook."
-William James
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In life, there are THINGS we just need to overlook to be able to move on... been told this many a times, and it is sooo TRUE that I have learned the art of overlooking things... and SADLY, this applies to people, too... So many come to our lives for one reason or another... to make our lives better... to impart wisdom... and yes, to wreck havoc.... we have to take them all in stride... take in the good ones and keep them... and Toss Over the latter ones... I would not say never to look back, as we need to, or else we will fall for the same types again and again....

With all the things going on with my MOM, I am beginning to see more and more, who TRULY CARES and who could not be bothered... sadly, some of these said people are the ones my MOM, should matter the most to... For so many days now, I know that my MOM has longed to hear from them - but NOTHING! Not that I did not even give it a chance and try to also send on this message to these people - still, NOTHING! It matters not to me, but it PAINS me to see my MOM HURT over this... so, will just try my BEST to make her think of these matters, or these people less and less...
and friends, well, TRUE FRIENDS have acknowledged what my MOM is going through... while others, it seems cannot be bothered... and not because they have not been into contact with me, as most have... but what am going through with my MOM's condition was neither acknowledged or brought up whatsoever.... as if, I did not even come back from Manila - beaten and brokenhearted from the doctor's findings... Am just expected to continue on - like nothing major is wrong.... expected to do this and that.... and take care of this and that... as if, all that matters is what everyone else is going through - and what am dealing with is NOTHING....

Maybe I should look at it, like they feel am STRONG and have ALWAYS BEEN... that they know I can HANDLE/WILL HANDLE things... as always... Still, a few COMFORTING WORDS would have meant so much.... :( But that is just asking for too much when it comes to some people...

Easter 2011!!!

Easter Sunday in Taipei... nothing too exciting... am working... and I did get to go to CHURCH for a beautiful Easter service.... wishing I was back in Manila - especially since I cannot even connect to my MOM, via phone, to wish her a Happy Easter....I do have something to be THANKFUL for though - last nite, after a month of NO EXERCISE, I was able to go swimming - well, most of the time was spent in the Water Massage area, massaging the aching bones, especially the injured knee part... and today, I got to go to the Gym in the morning.... no running or even walking on the treadmill... still cannot do that... but I was Happy enough to be able to lift some weights.... :) Hope this is the good start for rehab - and that soon I will get to run again by the river... especially now that the weather is getting better and better......

Black Saturday

“Black Saturday, falls between Good Friday and Easter Sunday.... a time to ponder on the significance of the Holy Week and to properly observe its traditions with religious fervor, without prejudice to public interest,”

While some go away on Holidays.... Fun In The Sun.... Pilgrimage... stay at hoe for a much needed rest.... go about the traditions of the Holy Week... or like myself, sadly, back working the weekend away -- we must also remember to give prayers for our love ones, friends, family, and of course, the less fortunate...

Needless to say, am offering much needed prayers for my MOM, this year....

"Siete Palabras"

"There are seven expressions traditionally attributed to Jesus during his crucifixion, gathered from the four Canonical Gospels.[1][2] Three of the sayings appear exclusively in the Gospel of Luke and three appear exclusively in the Gospel of John. The other saying appears both in the Gospel of Mark and the Gospel of Matthew.[3] In Mark and Matthew, Jesus cries out to God. In Luke, he forgives his killers, reassures the good thief, and commends his spirit to the Father. In John, he speaks to his mother, says he thirsts, and declares the end of his earthly life."

The First Word – (Luke 23:34)

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do”

The Second Word – (Luke 23:43) “Amen, I say to thee, today thou shalt be with me in Paradise.”

Third Word – (John 19:26-27) – “Woman, behold thy son… Behold thy mother”

The Fourth Word – (Mark 15:34) – “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"

The Fifth Word- (John 19:28) – “I thirst. “

The Sixth Word – (John 19:30) – “It is consummated.”

The Seventh Word – (Luke 23:46) – “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.”

INOPERABLE

It's been a a few days since I met with the Breast Specialist to have all my MOM's test results read.... Hoping for some kind of GOOD NEWS, even a tiny one at that - but there were NONE... hence, why it took me a bit longer to put it all into words, as each time I try to write, tears just comes streaming down...

Anyway, Tuesday the 19th, I went to speak with the doctor... my MOM did not come, of course - as I have mentioned in the previous BLOG - as far as she was concerned, the CT Scan was the last of the hospital visits for her.... Got to the Doctor's office at 3PM - her operational hours are 3pm till 6pm... and with the looming Holy Week, Tuesday i knew, was the last I could see her, before flying back to Taipei Friday... Needless to say I was nervous the whole time.... and it did not help that she was help up taking care of another patient and did not get to me till an hour and a half later... an hour and a half, waiting in the lobby... with the other women and posters of Breast Cancer all over the wall...

So first thing was having the doctor look at all the test results... CT Scan, Blood, Bone Scan, Liver Ultrasound... it did not take long.... and with one SIGH from her, I knew it was not good at all... still I hoped, as I waited for her words to come out... 2 sentences into it, I already lost it... tears rolling down and the feeling of suffocation settled in....

The doctor was kind enough to bear with me, and explained all to me... it boils down to the fact that, even if I can convince my MOM to get a MASTECTOMY - it would not do any good for two reasons (and age had nothing to do with it):

1) The cancer has spread out way too much... in her spinal, her liver and of course, her chest....
2) and the most devastating news: she has rendered the CANCER LUMP as INOPERABLE... it has gotten too big, too hard - and too much sticking to my MOM's chest...(Even
more tears flowed at this point...)

She went on to say that in cases like my MOM's... we should be LUCKY to have another year with her.... and that we need to prepare ourselves for the worst and the pain she is sure to endure in the final stages... starting with the back pains she has been suffering from of late.... and possibly the Liver giving out - as there is a big Cancer spot there, too....

The only thing the doctor can prescribed for my MOM at this point are pain killers that she has to take 4 times a day... and this EXPENSIVE medicine that she has to take each day to help with the big lump on her chest.... The rest is up to us -- to keep my Mom STRESS FREE, so as to not lower her IMMUNE DEFENSES.... to keep her HAPPY and VITAL throughout.... and to be Prepared as to what to do when the time comes....
The first two are easy enough, but how does one prepare for when the time comes???

Little Boy Blue

today, at the doctor's offce, as she read the findings from the various tests my MOM took (as I have documented here on 365) - I could not help but feel like a little boy lost once more.... all I could think of was to crawl into bed, curlp up into a little ball, and cry myself to sleep...

no matter how much we think we are so prepared, we really cannot be prepared, when it comes to such matters....

All was EXPECTED but none-the-less, HURT SO VERY MUCH....My Mom... and that's me on the bike.... somehow, I was feeling like i was at that age once again....

the last of it....

...as far as my Mom is concerned, this CT Scan, today, was the last of the tests she is willing to be subjected to.... a DECISION, I have already ACCEPTED and WILL RESPECT & FOLLOW!

This is the last of the test that her Breast Cancer Doctor had asked for... basically, all we are doing is finding out how far and how much the CANCER has spread... as it has already been determined her Breast Cancer are in it's final stages....

Again, though my MOM was braved enough to take these tests upon my insistence, she had asked not to know anymore, what the doctor has to say - upon going over the results... am to just tell her the good parts... so now I HOPE for some GOOD PARTS.....
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It was my first time to see a CT Scan machine.... it is actually pretty SLEEK, COOL & Futuristic looking.... but oh-so-expensive - both the machine itself and what people gets charged for what it does....

ACCEPTANCE & RESPECT

“Acceptance is not submission; it is acknowledgement of the facts of a situation. Then deciding what you're going to do about it.”

==============

This past week, watching my MOM go through the motions of taking one test after another, upon my insistence - was TRULY DISHEARTENING.... I see her try to be brave and joke around... but I also see her body basically just give in after a few hours....

While she was going through her BONE SCAN on Friday afternoon, I spent the time talking to her husband... we basically discussed whatever we both know we cannot discuss with my MOM.... all the things that she does not want to hear.... and we both cried.... Cried for what we feel, will eventually come... He went on to tell me that my MOM had asked him to tell me that she really refuse to go through any kind of SURGERY or CHEMO Therapy for her Cancer... to make me understand that she has ACCEPTED her FATE... and that would rather live whatever time she has left - alert and still very much together, not suffering through the grinds of chemo and all.... These of course, I already know...

I also realized, from our talk, that my MOM agreed to go through all these tests because of my insistence... insisting the we know fully what we are facing... and then give her the options on what course of action to take.... hoping the findings will be favorable and the doctor will give us HOPE and choices.... But really, if she can have it her way, no more tests.... just pain killers will do....

As we wait for the last few minutes at the hospital, it hit me that I should STOP insisting what I want, what I feel is BEST... instead, I MUST ACCEPT hew wishes FULLY... RESPECT & FOLLOW THEM.... and just DO WHAT I CAN & HOPE FOR THE BEST...

"Pls No Pain..."

So after a week long trying to convince my MOM to get a CITI Scan - just so we can see exactly how far along or how far the CANCER has spread... as, at this point, there is no mistaking it is BREAST CANCER.... she has AGREED to get the SCAN... the deal is that we will get it checked and find out the STATs - then she can DECIDE , given the options, what to do next... and that her decision will be RESPECTED and FOLLOWED....

BACKTRACK: My MOM, though she has felt this LUMP on her breast for years first hide it from me... then later on when it was too noticeable to HIDE, Refused to have it looked at, for fears of the worse case scenario... as well as her, fears of hospitals.... so the past years, though she has been in and out of the hospitals, she never got it looked at and always opt to just get PAIN RELIEVER medicines and medicines for her HIGH BLOOD condition..... needless to say, the CANCER has progressed over the years - and is now, even without the BIOPSY, being declared as "TERMINAL" and "LAST STAGE CANCER"....

FORWARD TO YESTERDAY (April 14th): It was not GOOD at all... first of all, my MOM has a hard time with the long drive, so we were referred to a nearby Hospital.... of course, they could not do the CT SCAN - as their machine is not capable of what was needed... so we were sent to hospitals, after hospitals.... till we just decided to get to one of the biggest one in the city.... of course, this travel alone already took it's toll on my MOM..... and when we finally got to MEDICAL CITY, we find out that she could not just get a CT SCAN, per se.... she needed so many other LAB TESTS before she could do this... to see if she is even fit enough to stand the CT Scan.... We basically had to start from the beginning: consulted with Breast Cancer Specialist.... who gave us a long lists of laboratory tests needed before the CT SCAN.... it was already 8:30PM before we finished what can be done for the day - it was many hours and many tests means she - which I could tell, was putting my MOM in so much pain.... it did not help that she was not allowed to eat till after all these tests.... which meant she also could not take her pain medicine....

Now all that is done... and today (APRIL 15th) we go back for a NOON time appointment to get a BONE SCAN.... then next MONDAY, the actual CT SCAN - providing all is clear from the tests taken yesterday and today....

===============================================

Seeing all these, and actually seeing my MOM gets weary and tired from all of these tests - makes me feel so HOPELESS and HELPLESS.... as if whenever she looks at me, all I can see in her eyes, is: "No Pain Please..." At this point, am not even LOOKING for any MIRACLES.... am just HOPING that she really will not have to go through too much pain... no more than she already is suffering from....

"TERMINAL"

Flying out today for Manila, tonite really as it is another one of those RED EYE Flights... am to see my MOM once more - whose condition, though was not getting better, at least not getting worse....

But yesterday afternoon, all that has changed, I got a message that she was rushed to the Hospital... in so much pain and all... something her regular medication could not even help... this put in in a tailspin as I could not get a hold of anyone - no cel network can connect me... Darn celphone providers! And only this morning, through my cousin's help, that I got to find out the whole story...

We have always known my MOM mush have some kind of Breast Cancer.... something she has accepted and did not want to make an issue out of... it seems to run with the women from my Mom's side of the family.... For her, if it was meant to be the cause of her departure from this world, then so be it... No matter what I say, she insist on not having the LUMPS on her chest looked at.... she lived with it.... and even hide it from us... and I, though it was always in the back of mind and basically in my everyday thoughts, Respected her wishes.... and just prayed and hope it can only get better... or at least, that she will not suffer....

Now the doctor's finding is something we already knew... Cancer, indeed... but now, words like "Last Stage" and "Terminal" are being used... first time for me to hear this in reference to my Mom... and it is scaring the CRAP out of me... and making me feel sooooo HELPLESS! I have seen and dealt with people who had died of cancer in my time... have heard these words before uttered by the doctors... but never, referring to a relative, much more - My Mom!

Saturday, tomorrow, I should be seeing my Mom and the Doctor... will find out more, as to what to expect, what to do, and how to deal... somehow I could not help but feel like a Baby - wanting to retreat from everything and having someone else take care of this matter.... but I know I must be an ADULT about it and face it all, as BEST I could....

New Day Tees by Murakami

Apple Daily, one of the leading newpapers of Taipei, has teamed up with Japanese artist, Murakami, to come up with these ULTRA COOL & FUN Tees to benefit the victims of the recent Japanese Quake and Tsunami. Murakami used his famous, loved by many, characters: Kai Kai & Kiki. Same ones that have been used before for Louis Vuitton - and are distinctly, Murakami.The way it works is that, the newspaper URGES all to DONATE a minimum of NT$3500 (about $110US) - to the Japan Relief Fund they have set up - and they will be sent one of the tees. The Tees are, I believe Limited to 8,000 pcs only and are available in 4 colors, White, Pink, Green, & Blue.Taiwan's Super Idols: Jolin Tsai & Wu Chun Models the Fun Tees!!!

UNICORNO by tokidoki

April 22nd will see the Debut of tokidoki's newest Blind Box Item offerrings: UNICORNO!!! There will be 8 Regular Versions of this KAWAII Unicorn character plus a couple of SPECIAL ones: Fumo with a chance of 1/50 and Prima Donna at 1/200 (Good Luck To Me!). Unicorno figures are 2.5" tall.

6 Months & Growing.....

Jewel Turned 6 months yesterday.... got a clean bill of health from the Doctor..... already 7.2 KGS - average says the doctor (tell that to our backs!) and a bit tall for her age (basketball or modeling?).....

These days she has been Talking up a storm.... totally making her wants known - the best way she could... lots of "aaaaaah... eeeehhhh...".... love getting on her feet - no matter how tired or moody she is - you WILL get a SMILE from her if you let her stand up..... already in that stage where she just wants to put anything and everything into her mouth - LOLs... and this week... she had the Pleasure of being taken care by Wu Mama for a whole week...

and of note: she seems to have picked up everyone's habit - COMPUTER!!!! She loves to touch and look at it... totally fascinated when facing one... much more than the television.... UH OH!!!

in Pain...

haiiiiiiis.... last few days I have been going through some mental and physical torment.... Physical as it seems my right knee has been giving out little by little... i know I already do not run as fast, nor as long, as I used to... still, i try to keep at it as regular as I could.... and with the winter months being sooo COLD and WET in Taipei, i had to make do with the machines at the GYM... and with them, I pushed myself even more by FASTER & running UPHILL - about LEVEL 10 incline.... Either all that PUSHING, or maybe AGE, has caught up with me.... last few days my right knee would hurt now and again..... but it manages to subsides always... so I chuck it as nothing and just push myself less.... yesterday afternoon though, after not running for 3 days, I went for a run by the river.... halfway through my knee totally gave in and I was in soooo much pain... excruciating pain..... all I could do was LIMP myself back home... Was going to try to ignore it, but going up the stairs to Jewels' home was quite TORTUROUS... I knew I have to seek medical help.... since it was late in the day, I had to wait till today to see a doctor.... so just rested my leg all nite and hoped for the best.... went to sleep early and hoped the good nite's sleep will help - WRONG!!! Woke up this morning in pain.... and it took me a whole 10 minutes to get out of bed, as I was in so much pain just to move my leg an inch.... At the doctor's, am told it was really from EXCESSIVE RUNNING... AGE... ETC.... everything I already know.... everything I already feared....

3 ACUPUNCTURE NEEDLES (A FIRST FOR ME!), a COMPRESS, and MEDICINAL BANDAGE later - am sent home with the following instructions: -No RUNNING FOR A LONG WHILE! -Not even SWIMMING for a few days... -Avoid Stairs! So, is this really the end of my running days??? that would HURT me even more than the pain I felt yesterday if this was meant to be... :(( So I can only hope not.... and the biggest question of all: "is it really downhill from here???"

Qing Ming Festival

The last two days, week really, are big TEMPLE going days.... Yesterday marks the combined celebration of Women's Day & Children's Day... so even with the non-stop rain - people everywhere flocked to the Temples.... Us included!!! Today marks the day of Qing Ming Festival, also commonly known as Tomb Sweeping Day. Qingming,meaning clear and bright, is the day for mourning the dead . It falls in early April every year. It corresponds with the onset of warmer weather, the start of spring plowing, and of family outings. In ancient China, Qingming was by no means the only time when sacrifices were made to ancestors. In fact such ceremonies were held very frequently, about every two weeks, in addition to other important holidays and festivals. The formalities of these ceremonies were in general very elaborate and expensive in terms of time and money.

It is said that, in an effort to reduce this expense, Emperor Xuanzong of the Tang Dynasty declared in 732 AD that respects would be fomally paid at the tombs of ancestors only on the day of Qingming.This is the custom that continues to date. People will visit their ancestors' graves. They will tidy up, remove weeds and sweep away leaves. This is why Qingming is also known as the Grave Sweeping Day. Beijing's subway is particularly crowded around Qingming as people flock to Babaoshan, Beijing's most famous cemetery and crematorium, to pay respects to their departed loved ones.Qingming is not just a day of remembrance, it is also a day to celebrate the coming of spring, often by going out for a picnic. With the coming of spring, nature wakes up, dressing the world in green. All is new, clean and fresh. People do flock to the cemeteries, as well as, Temples to honour, remember and give respect to their dearly departed ones.... This year, I only got as far as the Temples.... Nighttime visit at the Boan Temple....

Happy April Fool's Day!

First of APRIL - and I found this statement from the Dalai Lama especially fitting to start the month with.... in a way, for most of us - everyday is April Fool's Day...

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The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, he said: “Man, Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”
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AGREE or DISAGREE???