Just last week, I have been told that: "... I’m a thousand times more a man than you can ever dream you’d be. What I’ve accomplished in life you can’t even accomplish in your dreams." Hmmmmm....
This got me really thinking.... what does make a man??? Is it really having kids, a wife, a husband, a Partner? Being able to PROVIDE for them? Having a stable job? Is it all about being able to buy a House? Drive a Car? Joining the Service and fighting for your country?
I suppose, it is all that - for some.... let's even say for most.... But does it make me a lesser man, a thousand times less to be exact, that I do not have any of those... that I did not do any of those.... nor I even dream most of those....
Still, am sure it counts, and correct me if you feel am wrong, that I lived my life as HONEST as I could... trying throughout, as best I could, not to hurt anyone or anything as I struggle my way through life.... supported myself through college and beyond.... traveled and seen as much of the world as I could.... all of these on my own hard earned money.... followed my dreams, gambled in life, and put up my own business.... made somewhat of a name for myself.... and tried to give back in any way I could - be it giving to charities, donating my time and whatever else I could.....
I live life as full as I know how, and care to..... had my heart broken a few times and still chose to love again instead of losing hope... have more people in my life I can TRULY call friends, instead of fake friends.... can still count on my one hand whom I truly consider as my enemy.... love most everyone for the most part... always giving everyone else the benefit of the doubt and never be judgemental.... Help out friends and family, in anyway I can... and provided for my parents, whenever asked, and especially in the hours of their needs - to their dying breath - without them having to ask... or worse, beg....
So, if any of these does not make one a man - then most everyone I know also have failed in becoming one.... but STILL, am Proud of whatever accomplishments I have made in my life - no matter how small they are in other people's eyes.... Proud of all the loves, the friendships & family I have made, I have had, I still have..... Proud of all the things I ahve done and choices I ahve made..... Proud of all the memories and experiences I have accumulated all these years - pain and struggles included, as they are part of what makes us who we are... what MAKES US MEN!
So you can take your house, your family, your life's convictions, your false perfection, and blind perception of what makes a happy family, a happy life - they are yours... they are what makes you a man... but your words do not belittle me.... I do not, nor will I ever, accept that you are a thousand more a man than I am.... than I will ever be... because for all your reasoning - you were never there for me growing up in any way - physically, emotionally, & least of all, financially.... and now that I am grown up, I choose not to have you in my life.... not that I did not give you a chance - as I did... but time and time again, you have proven yourself unworthy of my time, my support, my love....
Instead, I choose to live my life same as I always have - without regrets, surrounded by loving and positive people - friends & family... take life with it's UPS & DOWNS.... happiness and sorrows... triumphs and frustrations.... and through it all, Be Proud Of the Man I Have Become!!!
"What Makes a Man a Man, A friend once wondered. Is it his origins, the way he comes to life?
I don't think so. Its the choices he makes; not how he starts things
but how he decides to end things."
-Guillermo Del Toro
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4 comments:
it's more than genetics, or acquired materials or taste. i wish i can say being honest, accountable and owning up to your faults make you a man, but that will make me a thousand times less for being a cheater . perhaps i am not man enough after all - because in spite of being given a second chance some time ago, i went on and eventually hurt the one who meant so much to me. being a man is beyond responsibility, for that will make our mothers, who take care of us thanklessly, more manly than we ever give them credit for. what do we mean when we say, "man up!" ? maybe that can give us some point to start on. going back to what makes a man, it's not fair to label it with plain accomplishments or acquisitions or genetics. if you have survived life's battles without intentionally hurting others or intentionally stepping / trespassing on other people's paths; if you have loved whole heartedly; if you've owned up to past mistakes and did everything you can to correct it; if you have forgiven those who wronged you; if you continue to live - then regardless of gender or chromosomical combo, you are a man.
Thanks Mr Barry..... those are GREAT INSIGHTS... very much appreciated and very much worth pondering over in our struggles to become a real good man.... still have much to learn - but will keep chugging on... and do it all lovingly.... :)
Meh ... whoever told you that, that was his opinion. He's entitled to that, but you are equally entitled to KNOW that you are a good man. Live up to what your principles require; you are a GOOD MAN.
Thanks Dana - try much appreciated!!!
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