Of Hunks, Horror & Hump Day!

Am not one to watch scary films - unless they have Vampires or Werewolves, of course! - much more a weekly TV SHOW filled with scary ghosts...  but my, oh  my, am I glad I broke down and gave this show, American Horror Story, a chance....  Got the DVD last time I was in Manila and have been watching all of Season 1 the last few days....

Okay for starter, Jessica Lange is in it!  She does not miss a beat - no matter how short her scene is... no matter how many lines or no lines she has to give, this woman chews up the scenery...  all eyes on her....  still I cannot shortchange the supporting cast, who are all SUPERB...   Besides Jessica Lange being in it, the only other thing I know is that Dylan McDermott is one of the leads, as well...  yes, hunky Dylan from The Practice.... he has been missed....  but with this show, you will get your fill of him as he is in many states of undress almost each and every week....  Not Complaining here, mind you... :)  He is even Hunkier than ever!!!  At 50 years old, he gives actors half his age a run for their money... 

But getting back to this super creepy show - what a ride each and every episode.....  the hair on my arms (and legs!) stands up each time I watch it...  I can only take one or two episode each sitting...  even cannot believe it is from the same creators that brought us GLEE!!!   Except for some quirky characters running about each shows, there really is no other similarities anymore....  The opening scene alone, set in the 70's with Twin Boys meeting their demise at this creepy mansion in the first few minutes is already sets the mood as to what's to come.... 

The premise is quite simple really:  Family of three relocates from Boston to Los Angeles, you learn a bit later on that one of the reason is the Father's (Dylan McDermott) infidelities....   buying this giant mansion for 1/3 of the real value should have tipped them off and question it all - but then, we would not have this wonderful show....  Connie Britton as the wife is a stand out, too....  Tough and Sensitive at the same time....   Each episode brings a host of new characters and one can never be truly sure who is ALIVE and who is just there to bring on some FRIGHT....   and I do like the fact that almost all of them, so far, have  had a full story....  either within the episode, or carried over a few episode..... 

This FX show (and a good thing it is on FX - they get away with more Gore, Blood and Sex on cable!) must truly be POPULAR already even amongst the stars, as a host of familiar faces from the BIG and SMALL SCREEN have turned up as Guests or Semi Regulars....  either that or the CLOUT that the producers carry lures them in....  amongst the semi regulars are Dennis O'Hare (True Blood); Francis Conroy (Six Feet Under); Kate Mara (Brokeback Mountain); Eric Close, Mena Suvari (American Beauty); Charles S. Dutton,  etc....   and  Zachary Quinto (quite hilarious each appearance) & Teddy Sears are quite noteworthy as the  quarreling Gay Couple Ghosts!!!

If you have not seen this show yet, in case am not the only late bloomer here, pls do check it out... truly one of the most exciting, scary, sexy, well crafted and well acted shows ever to grace our living rooms....

AMERICAN HORROR STORY on IMDB

Happy Earth Day 2012

Nurture Our Mother Earth With Love - and Watch It Bloom!!!

such is life....

The last few days since coming back from Manila has been TRULY up and down....   have had sooo many mood swings I cannot even tell at times that am crying while talking with others....  embarrassing, indeed....

Trying to keep myself busy - doing all that is needed to be done...catching up.....  and even giving myself new projects....  and playing with Juju....  still, in between all of these, all my thoughts are on my MOM and the decision to be made.....  as we get closer to the end of the month, am getting even more lost to a point am getting anxiety bouts....  if only I can slow the days down..... 

Aaaaah but such is Life....  we make do with the cards handed to us....  we deal with all as best we could.....  and just Hope for the Best!

Zac Efron for PENSHOPPE!

Penshoppe first brought us  Gossip Girl’s bad boy, Ed Westwick.  Then it was dreamy Thai cutie Mario Maurer. So, how re they topping these two - with none other than Zac Efron (Hairspray, High School Musical, New Year's eve, etc..).  What a SCOOP!!!  I myself, cannot wait to see more of the ads they will be coming out with using this Hollywood Hunk!  Just in time to, as he has a new movie out to promote, The Lucky One.... 

It has been stated that Zac Efron has never done an endorsement, so this partnership with Penshoppe is a first for him.  TRULY a GREAT SCOOP for the Pinoy Brand that seems quite intent to conquer the International World Market.

When asked in a few interviews why he chose to endorse the brand - Zac stated that: “I got to know the history of the brand and I like how it’s an original Pinoy brand,” he says. He adds further that, “We have this good family friends who are Filipino and they urged me to say yes. They said it was the top brand in the Philippines,”.

and this has been your HUMP DAY NEWS and Photos for the week!!! :)

A couple of stills from his movie The Lucky One, coming out this month.

...another reason to love this guy...

on borrowed time

So am back from another week in Manila....  and as always, am I left Manila with a heavy heart and teary eyes....  more so this time....   as this trip left me with a very hard decision to make...  one that am not even sure I can make....

I arrived in Manila Sunday at the break of dawn...  took a 3 hr nap... got up and did some grocery shopping and headed on to see my Mom...  my cousin, Rounette, Nicole, and Arnold drove me and my groceries....     the minute we arrived, tears were already flowing down on my Mom's cheeks....  and of course, mine soon followed...

My Mom has gotten skinnier again.... and the luster in her eyes have disappeared.... try as she might to muster strength - there is just so much she can do.... and for the most part, she sits, she lays down, she stares, she cries.... all in the same chair she is on....  the same one she has been on she we bought it last Christmas....  though it was doing it's job before in alleviating my Mom's bedsoreness - it has come now to a point, where even here she cannot stand to be on.....  not for too long....

Am told by my stepfather that she has not been eating much the last couple of week's before my arrival...  she just cries from too much pain....  and sleeps, if she is lucky, a total of 6 hrs a day....  most of the time she just stares into space - that is if she is not crying or screaming from the pain....  she asks for her children - but sadly no one is really around....  and though I try to see her as much as I can - there are times that I too, cannot - due to my own obligations here in Taiwan...  work or otherwise....  To this - I feel soooooo GUILTY...  it eats me up most nights....

Anyway, this last trip is killing me emotionally....  am now having to face a decision that I was hoping will never ever have to come....   but has....  to continue giving my Aromassin or not.... shstill takes this pill each day....  the steroids induced Breast Cancer Pills possibly is the  only thing prolonging her life....  making her seem as if she is not sick on the outside, while on the inside, her cancer is falling apart and spreading more severely...   the main lump on her breast that had gotten severe and will never heal, has gotten bigger - increased in size with little ones even surrounding it....  on her back I can feel so much hardness from more lumps trying to come out....   her right side where the original lump is, has gotten so swollen - arm to foot.....   her spinal cord seems to be sooo crooked now - maybe from the position she has been in, that it is even hard for her to keep her head straight....  God only knows what of her other internal parts...

She still refuses to go to the hospital....  it is not for her, she says...  but now and again when the pain is too unbearable we manage to bring her there - just so she can get a shot and drip to keep her calm and puts her to sleep....  the stongest pain killers she has been taking, though taking the maximum numbers each day, at most times fails to do their job and she just writhes in pain....  and there is no other choice but to drag her to the hospital and get her stronger medicine to soothe her pain...

I hate seeing my Mom this way... I always question what we are doing....   how my Mom could stand it all....  and what thoughts runs through her per the condition she is in....   and often, my thoughts are confirmed as my Mom, herself, would tell me how unbearable it is for her knowing she will never heal again....  or be lively again, even lively eough to go to the toilet on her own...   I jusy try to soothe her in any way I can... and hope that the pain will not become even more unbearable....

Anyway to make the long story short, this time around, my Mom told me the following:
-She is in so much pain and cannot stand it anymore...
-Has already told the Lord that she is ready - if the Lord feels that it is her time to go already - then she is in acceptance...
-and Lastly, that at times, she really does not want to take her pills anymore - as she does not want to prolong her suffering....

So what do I do now....   I know before I kept telling myself, I could never stop giving her the pills that prolongs her life - even if I have to Beg, Steal and Borrow for the $$$ I still will find a way to get her the pills.....   That I would only stop if the time comes that she asks me to herself, as she can no longer take the pain and suffering....   and now the time has come, and all I can do is cry....  how do I decide such a thing???   This trip is soooooo unbearable that I could not even get myself to look at my Mom on my last day - afraid of breaking down, afraid to see her in so much pain, and afraid of the decision I have to make.....

I really have no one to turn to but myself... no one else to ask...   not even her husband who is still very much in denial of my Mom's true conditions... and in turn, their son - my half brother, is in denial, as well - I feel.......  when I talk to them, when am even able to - all I get are  blank stares and/or tears...  my older sister, who has always been a strong person,  has offered to take the weight off of me (Thank You, Sis!) - but I cannot get myself to agree....  I feel if I do then it is just basically deciding to stop giving my Mom her meds already....  so it is tearing me apart right now....  I am at a loss....  so scared remembering that back in OCT, when she ran out of the meds and no one told me - only 4 days without the pills and she already looked as if she is on her last breath....  the pills keeps her living on borrowed time...

So how do I decide such a thing?   all these times that am supposed to be getting myself ready is of no help....  it is as if, am hearing about her Cancer for the first time again....   How do I decide to stop giving her the pills and not feel as if I helped her die???  Will i really be relieving her of fering or robbing her of a bit more life here on Earth?  ...here with us?   My Mom has pills till about the first week of May...   so I have till then to make this agonizing decision...   and agonize I will for the next few weeks.....    I know that my GUILT will eat me up - as much as making this decision is torturing me - to a point that it is killing me....  

But I know I MUST... for my Mom...  

My Mom with her hubby in the back, her grandson (Half-brother's son), Shobe and I

Palm Sunday 2012

Had a Beautiful Experience at today's Palm Sunday Mass Service at St. Christopher's Church....  a new Priest held the service...  he was much more livelier than the usual new priest...  and it was extra special to be able to experience the Blessing of the Palms once more... something I have not witnessed in a looong time....

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From WIKI:

Palm Sunday is a Christian moveable feast that falls on the Sunday before Easter. The feast commemorates Jesus' triumphal entry into Jerusalem, an event mentioned in all four canonical Gospels. (Mark 11:1–11, Matthew 21:1–11, Luke 19:28–44, and John 12:12–19).

In many Christian churches, Palm Sunday is marked by the distribution of palm leaves (often tied into crosses) to the assembled worshipers. The difficulty of procuring palms for that day's ceremonies in unfavorable climates for palms led to the substitution of boughs of box, yew, willow or other native trees. The Sunday was often designated by the names of these trees, as Yew Sunday or by the general term Branch Sunday.