Earlier today, I was given the news that another person we know had passed away... a sudden heart attack at the tender age of 38 Years Old.... way too young, of course... He was for the most part, like myself, a very fit person with hardly any vices... so his untimely passing was both a shocking surprise and a blow of some sorts in my own psyche...This event totally put me into a tailspin for the most part of today and tonite... upon hearing the news I automatically stated feeling a sharp pain in my heart - as if something was pinching it... of course, it was most likely nothing but my imagination and my fear getting the best of me...
WHY FEAR? well, let's see : 1) often I have been told by family and friends about their dreams of my own untimely demise ....; 2) A few times now, I have had my fortune told to be told that: "though am pretty much a fit person - I still will, most likely suffer heart problems... and I was assured they are not of the Romantic Kind.... (that's another story, another blog....) Though I do not usually believe in fortune tellers - it just gives me causes to ponder as am told this by three different fortune tellers - from different countries, at that: USA, Philippines & Taiwan.... 3 different people.... 3 different languages.... all basically saying the same thing.... Enough to give one nightmares and causes to worry right???
Now, couple all that with my own physical being... Am still for the most part very healthy.... still NO on DRUGS, SMOKING, DRINKING & PARTYING... with my only VICES being an ADDICT COLLECTOR (Death To My Wallet) & SWEETS (Death to my FLAT TUMMY)... Still, as I previously BLOGGED - this last visit to Manila - I was diagnosed as being on the verge of having HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE... and it was deduced to STRESS as the main factor to this sudden state.... so am being told to watch what I eat... not to over exhert myself.... and to STRESS LESS....
STRESS LESS!!! Can one really do so??? I mean, I think that I am pretty good at dealing with problems that comes my way as BEST as I COULD.... and knowing when to ACCEPT things I cannot change and to just let them be... still, I would be the first to admit that THINGS do still get to me... I still do end up with sleepless nights thinking, over thinking these things... and with this sudden news - am sure I will have more sleepless nights...
Mind you am not wishing for IMMORTALITY -- just that when it is my time to go, I will be at a point in my life when everything is just right, all as it should be...; that I know deep in my heart that I have done right by the people I love and care for....; that somehow, i have left my own mark in this world - however tiny that may be...
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1 comments:
The thing about mortality is that it creeps, then it leaps. Don't mind what the fortune tellers told you. If it's bad news, just think that life is too short to dwell on bad news. You're missing out on the good parts of life. If it's good news, then at least at one point it will happen, so it's a good reason to lice through (yey, I got that one correctly) each day.
Ah, positivity. See what 8 hours of sleep can do to you?
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