...coping.... and letting out steam...

Natural Disasters...calamities... they bring out the WORST & the BEST of people and all we can do is WISH that the GOOD always outweighs the BAD...

Alas, even in our personal lives, when affected by such NATURAL DISASTERS, I always end up feeling soooo HELPLESS and even more sad, DISAPPOINTED with some people, mainly by family... and this I know is my OWN PROBLEM... and SOMETHING I need to COPE with and DEAL it on my own.... but am just letting out steam as I find it BEST to let it out and then, move on...

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all these frustrations and sadness are brought on by not being able to speak to my MOM since the TYPHOON hit the Northern part of the Philippines.... i was basically going CRAZY not being able to connect though emails or phone calls... knowing that parts of RIZAL, where she is were HIT badly too - so many BAD THOUGHTS were running through my mind.... all the while I kept to myself, as I knew there was no sense talking about it to anyone yet... I just kept hoping that between my Cousin, Nephew and myself - we would be able to CONTACT her or my Half Brother somehow... and soon...

Yesterday I got an email from my half brother -- he was able to finally email from work... to my relief, they managed to weather out the storm with most of their stuff, in the house, just getting wet -- but all three of them (Mom, my half brother and his Dad) are fine and safe... Sadly, now they have to deal with getting everything dried and livable... all these in the midst of not having electricity or water to date....

I was so frustrated as all I could wish was to be in Manila already and MOVE her myself... so all nite long I tossed and turned in my sleep, what little of it I got.... kept thinking of what I can do.... how to move my Mom out of that area - no matter how she likes the Fresh Air and quietness of the area... how, I just need to "SUCK IT UP" and forget asking & waiting for my other siblings' help... it frustrates me to feel why MUST I BE the only one that my MOM could turn to??? I know that we all have grown up... living different lives... with our own set of problems & responsibilities... but at times like these, aren't we all supposed to do what we can for the ones we love who are less fortunate... and were HIT with such disasters... Besides, how can we SLEEP COMFORTABLY, when we are not even SURE our LOVE ONES have a DRY BED to sleep on???

and then it comes back to me: how I was told that: "since I am the NOT MARRIED ONE with NO CHILDREN of my own -- I am the one to TAKE CARE of our MOM.." The sad thing is that i really do not understand the need to say this to me, as I would do it anyway for my Mom -- as I have been all these years... SO GO FIGURE!

Anyway, the jist of it all is that, via coordination with my half brother & my cousin (NANAY) -- I will get my MOM moved even before I get to Manila....

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OKAY... ALL OUT - TIME TO MOVE ON....