Grateful

Just being given another day is already enough to be Thankful for...  

The rest of the day - added bonus!🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Terrific Thursday All!

💙💚💛💜❤️💖

Happy Martin Luther King Jr Day!!

Inspirational Words from a very Inspirational Man!!!

Frustrated but Very Much Thankful!!!

aaaaaah, what a day.....   nothing truly major went wrong but maybe today being Thanksgiving, everything felt more frustrating and trying.....

 

started last nite really... after babysitting a very sick Juju - had to rush to Carrefour to get more packing tape - still have a lot of mailings to do for today....  though it was raining I ran to Carrefour at 11:40PM - open 24 hours - Yes, but not last nite!!!  For some reason they decided to be closed early last nite....  so I ran back home empty handed - in the rain!!!

 

Was about to jump in the shower when I realized there was no water....   Nothing!!!   A bit from the kitchen sink - just enough to wash my face and brush my teeth - but nothing anywhere else....   too late to do anything I slept it all off....

 

This morning I woke up early - so I can run to Carrefour and get what I needed before the Postal Truck comes to pick up my mailings... still have a few to pack...  Turned on the faucet in the bathroom, HOPING - and yes, we got some water back....  FREEZING WATER That is!!!  the Hot Water Boiler is not getting enough water to warrant any to come out....  WAAAAH!!!    Washed up with what I have and dealt with my work at hand... got my much needed packing tape... finsihed packing more goods to ship out...  then it was back in the rain to deliver and ship my box to the International Courier.... and rushed back in time for the Postal Truck to come and pick up my mailings....  As you all know - waiting is not a virtue of mine - so I was sooooo frustrated when 2 hrs after the pick up time passed and they still have not come.....   MORE WAAAAAH!!!

 

Eventually all got done...   Mailings got picked up....   the rain stopped....  and the water pumped got fixed (Thanks Juju's Daddy for being such a Handy Man!)...   all is well again....   and took a looong afternoon walk to get rid of all the frustrations out....  looked at some XMas displays....  sat and had coffee outside - and just watched happy people go by....   All the while thinking - all these things happening now much be life's little jokes on me....   and I know I could handle it all - with a SMILE even!!!

 

Then something wonderful happened, amidst all the Personal Messages/ Emails I was dealing throughout the day - I got one from a friend in The Philippines, Isabel Casas - enclosed is a photo of some beautiful Rosaries that she had picked up for me on her recent trip to the Holy Land...  Without me asking for anything, and just casually knowing I collect Rosaries - she picked a few up for me.  MUCH TO MY SURPRISE!!!  This totally erased all the frustrations I felt since last night.... and the heavy heart becomes light as air once more....

   This just proves what I've always known all along - that there is

ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR!!!

Pray For The Philippines

By now am pretty sure all of us have heard of the most recent and most devastating disaster that has befallen the Visayas region of the Philippines.  As stated, Typhoon Yolanda or Typhoon Haiyan, as it more commonly known worldwide, proved to be the most ferocious typhoon to hit anywhere in the world for a very long time.  

Everywhere else in the world, it would have proven a disaster of major proportions.  With The Philippines being surrounded by bodies of water - the magnitude increased two folds.  Reports are now stating, it could even be worse than the Tsunami that hit South East Asia a few years back.  No confirmed number of deaths so far - as soooo many are still missing...  but with towns totally demolished with nothing left standing - initial estimates are well in the 10,000 lives lost.

5 days after the Haiyan wreck havoc in the Islands, so much chaos still ensues...  with lots of people still homeless and hungry...  even worse, CNN's Anderson Cooper, who is on hand reports that in one of the places hit the worst - no relief aids can be seen, nor government aids...  and this cause for more tensions - with local medias and government attacking Mr Cooper and company....  the lack or slow pace the government is taking in sending in help, or making way for the relief goods/help to reach the victims is truly deplorable, disheartening, and making people feel so much more hopelessness about the situation...  Couple this with the public concerns about the DONATION/FUNDS getting to the rightful people, and not the pocket of the politicians arises more concerns...  Totally warranted and understandable, due to the latest round of PORK BARREL SCANDAL, hovering over the Philippine government - with so many Political Figures involved.

 

It scares me to think/know that some of my friends in foreign countries - and even some fellow Kababayans (countrymen) - are apprehensive about donating...  this is a BAD THING as we all know - no mater how SMALL an amount our contributions are - they do go along way in helping out the victims.   My only advice is to: "Be Aware, Make Our Contributions Count."   Mainly it is all about getting the donations to the proper channels...  this we can do so by going through some of the most reputable relief aid institutions: Unicef, WHO, RED CROSS, & WFP - to name a few...  there are others so please be SMART and GIVE WISELY.  Make our CHANGE help CHANGE LIVES!!!

So sadly, due to these matters discussed above:  are the victims to suffer even more so?  Was it not enough that so many lives and livelihood were lost from Typhoon Haiyan?  I for one, am so frustrated and disgruntled over all the reports of late...  to a point that I try not to read anymore....   Who cares about the bitterness Ms Korinna Sanchez feels over Mr Cooper's statements?   At this point, who cares about how slow or uninformed the government was in preventing so much of what went on?  Instead, work together... focus on getting aids to all the needies....  making sure they have clean water, food and a place to sleep in....   Get the Donations and Reliefs goods to the right places....   Yes, this is all easier said than done, but if we do not work together... if we do not let go of our EGOs...  and more importantly, if we do not  focus on the more important matter: THE VICTIMS!!! - chaos will ensue and more lives will be lost...  Let us avoid escalating the chaos and disaster even more than necessary...

LET'S ALL UNITE & WORK TOGETHER!!!
 

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A Letter of Note that I wanted to share...  this one is from one of Philippine Cinemas\'s esteemed directors, Peque Gallaga...  what he wrote, am sure, is something most Filipinos have thought of (Rightly so!), but could not put into words...  well, here it is - well, written , honest and direct.... 

Peque Gallaga"s Letter

am not well versed in Philippine Cinema, not even sure if I have seen any of his movies, but will surely look them up, but I salute him for his letter and being brave enough to Go Against The Flow and Voice Out his feelings...  not be trapped in the "Don't Speak Out Showbiz policy, fearing backlashes from the Goverment and the Industry."

Super Sunday All!

Just some Random Photos & Quotable Quotes I wish to share...  :)

On Waiting...

Must Try.. Always...

100%

Always something to be Thankful for...  Remember...

Happy Birthday, Mom!

You are surely missed..  

Forever you will be   in my thoughts and my heart...  

Here's hoping you are looking down on us, and feeling happy..  I love you, Mom!

My Day 2013

Well, not much can be said about this year's BDay - it was pretty uneventful with touches of frustrations here and there..  Still, it was a day full of reflecting and being Thankful for surviving another year... 

The day started on a sour note - waking up to a stressful note on FB...  Something that could have been resolved quite easily but ended up with an hour's worth of back and forth... Having to defend myself for things I should not have to..  In the end, i took the high ground to put it to rest..  Just cut my losses and went on..

By the time i finished with this, it was just enough   time to get ready and make my way   to church...  During this Sunday's service, i was a bit put off by something the  Priest said about Karma...  His stance on it totally put me off...  I mean, I have always felt that religions are to be taken for what is good in it and what applies to one, the rest can just be ignored...  But his views on Karma, i just could not shake off.. Almost to a point that I wanted to raise my hand for discussion..  And/or just walk away...  I come from a view of being respectful to all religions..  To embrace CO EXISTENCE amongst all nations and religions but it was obvious this Priest was not...  Anyway, o sat through the whole service with every intention of writing to the Parish later on...

Then, as with most birthdays, I wanted yo do something meaningful in a way of giving back...  And one of the easiest and best I could think of is donate blood...  Went to the local Red Cross, much to my sadness, Blood Donations are no longer accepted from foreign nationals...  I never knee that hiving could have so much red tape around it..  So I walked away, a bit sad...

All of that sadness and frustrations was alleviated by treating myself to a showing of, Now You See Me - a really slick movie that is both trippy, mind boggling and absolutely satisfying!!!

Wanted to top it off by "Having It My Way" at Burger King on Nanjing East Rd.. On the way back home.. Sadly, this particular BK had closed...  Instead I chose to eat at KFC..  Which was not a bad alternate as I git to try their Spicy Chicken Wrap and the oh so yummy, Mango Tart...

Now  capping off my nite, sitting by Dajia Riverside Park...  Admiring the night light.. Watching all the bikers and runners... enjoying the breeze..  And of course, writing this entry - best place to do so, if you ask me...  

So even with the frustrations and disappointments here and there..  Things not going as I would have wanted them to - am still Grateful..  Grateful for making it through another year.,.  Grateful for the highs and even the lows  as they thought me something about life and myself...  

The Day - INSTAGRAM STYLE!!!

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Most of all, Grateful for my family, friends and love ones...  The dearly departed and the ones who have come in and out of my life...  For I believe that each and everyone has come into my life,for one   reason or another, imparting wisdom, beautiful memories,  & love... and even Grateful  for those who have hurt me - as I know that from them I acquired more strength ...  Strength to face more trials, more high and lows, and more of whatever else life has in store for me... 

Here's to another year of living life as best I could and facing all with a SMILE on my Face - Smiles to Share with the World...  

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Thought that was the end of my day but I got one more surprise at the end of the night...  Juju with her Papi were waiting for me at home with a SPECIAL BDAY cake....  Juju, with the help of Papi sang me the "Happy you" song as she calls it... help me blow out the candles - am either 12 or 21...  either way it is fine by me...- and truly put a smile on my face... nice way to end my special day....  sadly, Mami was still at work - catching up from work demands especially after being in JAPAN for a week....  but am thankful as I know she was behind this lovely gesture....  :)

"It's that Time Again!"

The time to be festive and merry.... to see family, friends, love ones and wish them all the BEST for the Holiday Season and for the year to come.... to get Sentimental for those XMasses past, but also Hope for more Great Times to come in XMasses future....  But we MUST ALSO REMEMBER to HONOUR our dearly departed and to share in not just  the Season has to offer - but to actually share to those in need.

As you all know, it is also my MOST FAVORITE HOLIDAY....   not just for the presents, but those are welcomed, too...   but I just feel that this time of the year becomes extra Magical as people tend to be more caring, giving, and genuinely nice to one another.   It is a time when one can be a KID once more....   relieve the Joys of XMas pasts.... and as we get older, see the Joys through the eyes of the younger generation.

This time last year, I spent one of my loneliest XMas' ever - seeing my Mom go through pain from Cancer.... now she is gone.... and with my Nieces and Nephew all giving their own lives in Manila and the US - I decided to stay in Taiwan, instead....  Not really a place where XMas is much celebrated - except in Malls and Restaurants and mostly for appearances sakes - not by tradition or anything more....  So far, Juju and I have visited a few places just to catch their Holiday Decorations....  nothing too outstanding so far - like the window displays of Macys, or Saks Fifth Ave or Bloomingdales, the ones I grew up on -  but none-the-less, FESTIVE.

Still, it matters not - as I know that one can FEEL THE SPIRIT OF XMAS - anywhere and everywhere....   and I am one  to see to it that I have a JOYOUS one with what I happen to have, who am with, and where ever I happen to be..

Starting with hunting for  a TREE!!!

THANKFUL

Yep, it is that month of the year again when we all should REFLECT and SEE all that we are THANKFUL for....  and we all know, there is ALWAYS SOMETHING TO BE THANKFUL for....  So I have decided to make this "Thankful" album project on FB (THANKFUL ALBUM)....  one entry each day, one thing to be THANKFUL for each day.... 

 

And it could not have come at a most fitting time, too - as I woke up this Sunday to just some FRUSTRATING PMs....  nothing major, just part of the Ups and Downs of Life....  of the Business...  Snapped out of it right away SIMPLY by thinking of this project....

Nov 2nd, Friday:   Juju's Smile.

Always can brighten up any Gloomy Day...

Nov 3rd, Saturday: Traveling.
 Could never get enough of this.... so much more in the world to see, know, and experience....

Nov 4th, Sunday: Sunday Mass:

  Always a pleasure when I do make it to Church..

  Added Bonus, the soothing sounds of St. Christopher's Church Choir.

 

Have a GREAT SUNDAY ALL!!!

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and here's the SERENITY PRAYER by Reinhold Niebuhr to ALWAYS put things into PERSPECTIVE: 

 

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen. 

when is it my turn?

"Look in the mirror
Now that's another story to tell
I give love to others
But I give myself hell"

 

-"What You Are" by Jewel

 

At the Gym yesterday and was listening to the music in my iPhone...  it was set on SHUFFLE - so it was randomly playing songs... now and again hear songs I have not heard in a long time but obviously, I like or it would not even be there to begin with....

 

Then this song of Jewel's from a few years back played.... it hit me like a hammer hitting a nail...  had to play it again... and again... and again....  listening to the lyrics.. dissecting the lyrics....  and really feeling them....  relating to them....   got me thinking all night long and even all day long today...  so I decided to put my thoughts into here....

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Maybe it is MIDLIFE CRISIS....  maybe something else...  but now and again, I end up stopping myself at my tracks and starts wondering where my life has been, where it is going....  I know I have always put others before myself....  put their well being...  put their happiness....   Since I can remember, I think and worry about my family all the time...  worry for loved ones and friends....   and at times, even strangers....   help when I can....  give what I can....    it is just who I am...  and it is something I just accepted in my life, and never questioned...  till now....

The last couple of years, with all that I went through with my family, especially Mom...  and with all that I go through with work, and  in my personal life, I just feel so worn out....   tired not just physically but emotionally and mentally , as well...  feeling a bit lost as to what is there for me....  what is left for me....

 

I just felt that the last few years, it was all about taking care of people...   taking care of Mom when in Manila....  and then coming back to Taiwan to take care of work, Juju, and even David...  I was feeling no rest....  PHYSICALLY drained.....   Then I worry about work....  what has been going on...  worry about the money, or lack of it, coming in....  at the same time, having Mom's medical bills hanging over my head....  this made me MENTALLY drained...  And last but certainly not the least, the personal torture....   feeling lost....   feeling sooooo alone....   that with all that i have to deal with, I really had no one to run to....  shouldering on everything - mentally, physically, financially - this made me EMOTIONALLY drained....

 

After Mom's passing, I thought I would get a bit of rest....  that I could take off for a few months - take a breather and sort many things out - but this is not to be....   How silly of me to think that after Mom passes away, all will be sorted out and all will fall into place....   I did not think that, though I no longer have to think of where and how to raise the funds for her monthly Medical Bills, I would still have to deal with all that was accrued during her battles with cancer...  and then some....  and with business being the way it is lately, I am left feeling so TIED DOWN....  as if FREEDOM is no longer in my grasp....   I have nothing but RESPONSIBILITIES hovering over my head, like dark clouds...

 

How NAIVE of me to think that I could just up and go and take a breather....  to live life for myself, for a change...  to rest not just physically but mentally by not having to think of anyone else for a chance....  just think of myself...  do what makes me happy, or just do nothing at all...  my LIFE right now does not warrant me to be SELFISH....   I am in no financial state to just up and go...  take off for a few months, much more a year... 

 

Though I accept this for the most part, I still wish differently....  I still wish I could just up and go....   For now, I just deal....  go with the flow - as I always do in life....  living day to day with just one main goal: To do what is needed to make $$$ and pay off all bills and be FREE from it all....  and filling my in between days with going to the Gym, running and/or swimming to stay healthy and focused....    

 

all the while, hoping more for myself....  

 

what Makes a Man???

Just last week, I have been told that: "... I’m a thousand times more a man than you can ever dream you’d be. What I’ve accomplished in life you can’t even accomplish in your dreams."   Hmmmmm....

This got me really thinking....  what does make a man???   Is it really having kids, a wife, a husband, a Partner?  Being able to PROVIDE for them?  Having a stable job?  Is it all about being able to buy a House?  Drive a Car?   Joining the Service and fighting for your country?  

 

I suppose, it is all that - for some....   let's even say for most....   But does it make me a lesser man, a thousand times less to be exact, that I do not have any of those...  that I did not do any of those....  nor I even dream most of those.... 

 

Still, am sure it counts, and correct me if you feel am wrong, that I lived my life as HONEST as I could...  trying throughout, as best I could, not to hurt anyone or anything as I struggle my way through life....   supported myself through college and beyond....   traveled and seen as much of the world as I could.... all of these on my own hard earned money....   followed my dreams, gambled in life, and put up my own business....  made somewhat of a name for myself....   and tried to give back in any way I could - be it giving to charities, donating my time and whatever else I could.....  

 

I live life as full as I know how, and care to.....   had my heart broken a few times and still chose to love again instead of losing hope...  have more people in my life I can TRULY call friends, instead of fake friends....   can still count on my one hand whom I truly consider as my enemy....   love most everyone for the most part...  always giving everyone else the benefit of the doubt and never be judgemental....  Help out friends and family, in anyway I can... and provided for my parents, whenever asked, and especially in the hours of their needs - to their dying breath  - without them having to ask... or worse, beg....  

 

So, if any of these does not make one a man - then most everyone I know also  have failed in becoming one....  but STILL, am Proud of whatever accomplishments I have made in my life - no matter how small they are in other people's eyes....   Proud of all the loves, the friendships & family I have made, I have had, I still have.....   Proud of all the things I ahve done and choices I ahve made..... Proud of all the memories and experiences I have accumulated all these years - pain and struggles included, as they are part of what makes us who we are...  what MAKES US MEN!

 

So you can take your house, your family, your life's convictions, your false perfection, and blind perception of what makes a happy family, a happy life  - they are yours... they are what makes you a man... but your words do not belittle me....   I do not, nor will I ever, accept that you are a thousand more a man than I am....  than I will ever be...  because for all your reasoning - you were never there for me growing up in any way - physically, emotionally, & least of all, financially....  and now that I am grown up, I choose not to have you in my life....  not that I did not give you a chance - as I did... but time and time again, you have proven yourself unworthy of my time, my support, my love....

 

Instead, I choose to live my life same as I always have - without regrets, surrounded by loving and positive people - friends & family...  take life with it's UPS & DOWNS....   happiness and sorrows...  triumphs and frustrations....   and through it all, Be Proud Of the Man I Have Become!!!

 

"What Makes a Man a Man, A friend once wondered. Is it his origins, the way he comes to life?

I don't think so. Its the choices he makes; not how he starts things

but how he decides to end things."

-Guillermo Del Toro

NO H8

The NOH8 Campaign is a photo project and protest created by celebrity photographer Adam Bouska and his partner Jeff Parshley in response to the passage of Prop 8, the ban on gay marriage. Celebrities and everyday people alike have joined this GREAT CAUSE and been photographed for the project.   The campaign was created on February 1, 2009 - and since it's inception over 20,000 people all around the world have participated.

 

Here's a few samplings of some of the famous, not so famous, soon to be famous, and ordinary people who lent their MUGS to SUPPORT the cause... Photos feature subjects with "NOH8" painted in one cheek and duct tape over their mouths - this symbolizes their voices being silenced by Proposition 8 and similar legislation all around the world. 

.
 

...it's just plain WICKED not to say "NO H8"!!!

For More NO H8 Info - PLS CLICK HERE

you can FOLLOW & LIKE it on FACEBOOK by CLICKING HERE

 

FABULOUS FRIDAY ALL!!!

Unconditional Love

The Priest's Sermon this Sunday had me in tears....  maybe it was because I had just spoken to my Mom before Mass began...  the Sermon was  all about Unconditional Love...   and ACCEPTANCE....  seems that this is the running theme for me this whole week....  everywhere I turn, just another reminder that I need to ACCEPT THINGS as they are...  stop being fighting it for whatever SELFISH reason I might have....  and most of all, do not use LOVE as an EXCUSE for NOT ACCEPTING WHAT IS TO BE....

and right after the Sunday Service, as I was walking about just trying to get my mind of things, I happen upon this writing:

Acceptance is letting everything come.

Love is letting everything be.

Forgiveness is letting everything go.

Wisdom is letting all things arise, flourish and release themselves naturally.

Awareness is restful attentiveness, letting everything happen.

Enlightenment simply is.

...and yet another reminder that falls into the ACCEPTANCE theme.... haiiiiis.....   will try to sleep it all  off now....  tomorrow is another day...   another week.... GOODNIGHT ALL!!!

Substance Or Beauty

"Every morning, before leaving his home, the great philosopher Socrates used to stand in front of a mirror and gaze attentively at his reflection for several minutes.

One day, a disciple came upon him doing this, and was unable to suppress a smile at the sight of his master examining himself so closely.

Socrates turned to him and said, "You are smiling, no doubt, at the sight of this ugly old f...ellow staring at himself in the mirror, are you not? I do this everyday."

Shamed, the disciple bowed his head, but before he could beg pardon, Socrates continued: "On seeing myself in the mirror everyday, I become aware of my own ugliness. This strengthens my resolve to live in a way that the virtue of my work may outshine the unattractiveness of my countenance."

The disciple exclaimed, "Master, do you mean to say that those who are good looking should not look in a mirror at all?"

"Nothing of the sort" said Socrates. "They should also keep looking in the mirror to remind themselves to think, speak and behave in a way that is as beautiful and striking as they are. May not their actions cast a shadow over their pleasing appearance."
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In this way Socrates left behind a profound lesson for all of us: Handsome is as handsome does.

MASKS

"...we all wear masks...  everyone...  everyday...

and sometimes, we wear them so much

we forget who we really are...

But sometimes, if we are Lucky...

Someone comes along and shows us who

we really wanna be...  who we should be...."

Brrrrrrrrr........

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The only real blind person at Christmas-time

is he who has not Christmas in his heart.

— Helen Keller

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Been FREEZING COLD the last few days here in Taipei.....  rainy, gloomy, wet....  pretty much the same each year I suppose - but somehow, this year, it feels even colder, even gloomier, and looks even wetter everywhere I look....   maybe part of it is the fact that I find myself in tears, now and again, each and everyday....  At times, it feels as if soooo much is bottled up inside - trying soooo hard to get out....

Anyway, each and everyday, I just try my best to stay focus....   keep busy....   and do just about anything to keep my mind occupied in between the waiting... waiting for the day of my flight - which is coming up FINALLY..... and now I feel even more ANXIETIES....  so much BITTERSWEETNESS ...  as much as am HAPPY I will finally get to see Mom and spend the time with her - fulfill my PROMISE of being there for XMas - am soooo scared and sad as to what is waiting - what is to be.....   The last few days, each and everytime I call her, we go through so much emotions....  she cries and cries...  in pain both physically and emotionally....   all I can do is pretend to be strong and calm her down, as tears flows....

So am scared of what is to be... scared of all the decisions I might have to face.....  and all happening at what is my MOST FAVE TIME OF THE YEAR - ever since childhood.... as far as I can remember.... Christmas has always been a time of Joy & Good Cheer... no matter where I may be...  no matter with someone, with family, with friends, or even alone....  I still REJOICE when this time comes - as it ALWAYS seem to hold so much promise, so much love, so much miracle... and not just for me but for all....

So here it is once more...  only this time, I have yet to really feel the spirits of XMas....  as much as I have been admiring all the festivities I see and hear - Xmas Carols & Decorations - I have yet to get that feeling I often get as the days get closer to XMas...   I can only HOPE and PRAY that it will all change as soon as I see Mom...   it has to - at least this is what she needs to see from me - as she too, knows how I Love this time of the year....

A BIIIG THANK YOU to my friend, Danny for sending out the YUMMYLISCIOUS, Home Baked, Freshly Made Cookies all the way from Bangkok....  it warmed not just the TUMMY but the Heart, as well...   as you can see, Jewel and I enjoyed them right away!!!

Take Note

"THE FACT THAT AM NOT MARRIED and WITH NO KIDS of MY OWN DOES NOT GIVE YOU AN EXCUSE TO NOT DO YOUR SHARE...  TO NOT DO WHAT IS RIGHT."

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"MAKING PROMISES TO A SICK PERSON WITHOUT THE INTENTION OF FULFILLING THEM TRULY MAKES THE SICK FEEL EVEN WORSE."

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"CARING FOR AN ILL PARENT HAS NO GENDER SPECIFIC REQUIREMENTS!

IT IS NOT JUST THE MAN'S/SONS' RESPONSIBILITY TO CARE FOR THEIR SICK PARENT - IT IS EVERYONE'S....  

IF WE CANNOT SUPPORT FINANCIALLY, THEN WE TRY AND SUPPORT EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.... WE DO WHAT WE CAN - AND THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING EVERYONE CAN DO. "

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and MORE IMPORTANTLY:

"BE THERE FOR THE BELOVED SICK ONES,

NOT FOR RELIEVING YOURSELF OF YOUR OWN GUILT."

Trying to get into the Spirits of XMas...

and the OPERATIVE word there is TRYING... :(

Most of you who knows me well, knows well enough that XMas is still my most FAVE Holiday...  ever since childhood it has been....  I love everything about it... from picking out the perfect tree for the year....  decorating it....   watching the lights glow as I admire the finished, fully decorated tree...  presents shopping.....  getting dress to visit family and friends to hang out, feast and just feel the love.....   EGG NOG, PUMPKIN COOKIES, and yes, even the FRUIT CAKE!!!  LOL....

This time around, with the way things are going with my Mom's Health, it has been so hard for me to get into the Spirits of XMas.....   less than 20 days away and I have not really put that much thought about it....   all I could think of is getting to Manila and spending XMas with my Mom, as I promised her....   and with the two recent run back to the Hospital for her, more recent one for what seems to be a mild stroke, a couple of days ago - am really more anxious to get to her.....

Right now, I am just trying to keep myself busy with work and projects.....  taking care of jewel and   roaming the city, come rain or shine, just to keep my mind clear and alo tire myself out, so as to be able to sleep - been restless the last couple of nights....

and with hopes to get more into the SPIRIT of things, I even tried to put something up to remind me more of XMAS....  played with photographing some FAVE things in XMAS themes....

and even went XMas card shopping....  now if I can only MUSTER some ENERGY (Mentally and Emotionally) to make them out in time for XMAS.....  we'll see.....

HAPPY SUNDAY ALL!!!

Giving Thanks..... still....

I cannot even remember now that last Thanksgiving I have celebrated....   this is the 12th year I am not celebrating - yes, that looooong!!! I, too, cannot believe it.....

Though memories are all a bit jumbled up now of many Thanksgiving past - so many of these memories are still pretty fresh in my mind... and even more so, in my heart..... Thanksgiving with dear friends.... quiet moments with past love ones (not so many, mind you... hahahahahaha) .... having Thanksgiving dinners for some friends and co-workers who could not go home to their respective families; worse, who did not have families to go home to.... delivering meals to those who did not have families to go celebrate with through Chicken Soupers, and other various charities...

They were, they are, my families.... having grown up pretty much on my own - I was LUCKY ENOUGH to have had them all at separate times in my life.... they made my Thanksgiving complete and forever I will be THANKFUL to them - for touching my life one way or another....

 

 

And now another Thanksgiving is upon us.... lately, it feels as if I have less and less to be THANKFUL for.... with business the way it is.... with the way things have been with my family - near and far..... and of course, with the way things are with my Mom.... just the other day I spoke with her on the phone...checking in.... and even thousands of miles apart - I could hear the pain in her voice....  all i can do is try to not let on of my feelings and sorrows and just to be BRAVE and STRONG for her... something that is getting harder and harder to do as time goes by....    And just tonight, am reminded that it has been 8 months ago since the time my MOM went through her last complete physical... the time the doctor basically said she is LUCKY to have a year left in her...Has it really been that long already? Is this why she has been feeling worse and getting health complications lately? Is she feeling something that she is not telling us - in her way, trying to be Brave and Strong for us, too? I guess only time will tell....

For now, I will just be THANKFUL for all the days she is not in so much pain.... for the times she is able to get up and down the stairs on her own.... for the smiles I see in her, still.... for all the stories and memories she has been sharing with me - of her childhood, of my childhood, of our families... for reminding me something I almost always forget - that in the end, we only have one life and we MUST LIVE IT THE BEST WAY WE CAN. DO WHAT MAKES US HAPPY WITHOUT HARMING OTHERS, AND FIND HAPPINESS IN ALL THAT THERE IS.....

 But most especially, AM THANKFUL for whatever time I still get to have with her.... and though am not with her this Thanksgiving - it matters not as I surely will be with her for XMas - as promised....

HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL!!!